Me Stay?…WHO STAY?…Me STAY!…OOHHH MEEEE STAY!

I actually realized I never put in this little anecdote. This happened when language learning was so complex for Drake. This became a memory I will NEVER, EVER forget. Wanted to share this one!

One of the hardest things for children with autism to learn is: WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, and WHY. It is very difficult to teach them you, me, mine, yours and so forth. It becomes very confusing for them to get the concept of the reversal. 

I don’t think we realize justt how complex the English language really is. Synonyms can make us crazy, so imagine what a child with autism goes through. Let's see…two, to, too…for, four…there, their, they’re, and so forth. I think you get the picture. It can feel like an insurmountable task for sure. I tutored an inmate in ESL at Sing, Sing Prison and he went nuts, so you can imagine teaching this to a young child with autism. If I can get confused at times you can only imagine the glazed look that would come over their little angelic face. Cookie and candy is easy…they know that’s good and that’s all that matters. Ok enough rambling because I think you get the drift. 

At this stage of my precious guy’s life I was babysitting everyday due to my daughter and son-in-law’s work schedules. Little man and I spent hours and hours together. He made me crazy. I made him crazy. Together we had a ball everyday. We’d play stuff. He’d throw stuff. I’d cook stuff. He’d spill stuff. I’d wash stuff. He’d dirty stuff. My days were never better. In fact I would (would, wood…see what I mean?)) feel sad when it was time for (four) me to go home. Little man looked sad. I looked sad. We had a sad party.

One particular day when he looked really sad, I sat down on the bed and took his little hand and just held it. He turned to look at me with those big, beautiful brown eyes and said: “ME STAY? I was like HUH? What does he mean by me stay. So I said you stay? Again he said me stay? Being the perfect ass that I am I said, “What do you mean my love?” …and then BAM! I got it like a chocolate cream pie thrown in my the face. I WAS ME! ME WAS I! Oh my oh my! I would refer to myself as ME while speaking with him…do you want Me to…this is for ME…you and ME…Oh Lordy, Lordy…

I looked at my love and said, “do you want grandma to stay? Do you want ME to stay? His eyes lit up and tears stopped flowing when I said Me stay for awhile. Man I love this kid. It will always be him and ME.

"One of OUR Hardest Days"

Today I am going to write about something weighing heavily on my heart and mind. So as you can tell, this entry will be on a more serious note. The time is fast approaching when the need to explain to Drake about autism is fast zooming down the road. My sweet daughter Jefner and I agonize on when to do this…how to start…what to say…and how to answer questions if he should have any!

This is a road we knew we would travel but it seemed so far away. Now it is just about here. The little man will be eleven years old this year and we can see he is striving for more independence and to be treated like a BIG guy…God this hurts our hearts…how do we help him to understand? How do we choose the right words? How do we know we chose the right words? How do we say things to help him without confusing him? 

He seems to be getting to the point where he’s questioning things. Does he know his thought processes are different? Does he feel different? How do we let him know he is just like everyone else while being a little bit different…that he sees and puts together things in a different way. If this is confusing for us, we can only imagine how confusing this is for him?

Are we worrying too much? Will a  miracle happen and he’ll say: Oh don’t worry about me…I get it…it’s no biggie? Will he look at us with confusion in his eyes and think we’re just babbling away? Will he get upset because he thinks he’s not the same and now doesn’t know what to do? Maybe in the recesses of his wonderful mind he will get everything we say and feel sad because he knows we feel sad! Could it be that he understands more than we give him credit for…can this be possible? Why is life so hard at times. I know many, many people have it much harder but at this moment I am going to put our pain and fear to the top. Tomorrow we will have a better grip once again…allowing us to be thankful…thankful for bringing us this little ANGEL. 

All we can  do is hope and pray that when we work up the courage…yes, courage…things will go well. I wonder if the courage is for him or for us…