Will I Die in My Head? NOOOOOOOO My love!

Yesterday I met my little love at school for "LUNCH WITH SOMEONE "GRAND" DAY. Seeing as how I am GRAND I met him and first attended his school's book fair. Out of the blue he decided to start jumping around and acting quite silly. I reminded him that he has to watch out for other people…so of course he continued to keep jumping…what the heck, he was so happy I let him have at it and at the same time made sure he didn't stomp on someone in the process. All went well.

All of a sudden he turned to me and asked if he could run out into the street. I looked at him and said, "what do you have to do when crossing the street?" He stood there and said, "not this way turning to the left…not this way, turning to the right!" That's his way of saying no cars are coming. I asked him, "what do you always have to be?" His answer was, "SAFE!" There ya go I told him and we slapped each other five!!!!!! He turns to me and asks, "If I run out into the street will I be dead in my head?" OMG! DEAD IN HIS HEAD…where does he come up with this stuff. 

How do you explain the dangers…how? Their thinking is so concrete…say something the wrong way and it can take forever to correct it. Sometimes they hear something once and it is forever locked into place. At that moment I just told  him "NO BOO BOOS ALLOWED right?" He seems to get the concept of boo boos, so I went on to tell him that running into the road could cause BAD boo boos. He looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and said, "I WON'T DIE IN MY HEAD?" All I could do at that moment was HUG him, tell him I LOVE YOU…and no! You won't die in your head. Man oh man…they challenge you at every turn. You want them to understand yet you don't want to scare the hell out of them at the same time. We just watch him like a hawk.

What’s the Matter Sweetie?…”I Don’t Have the words”

I would like to preface this new entry with a bit of history. One of the main issues for people dealing with autism is continuity. It doesn’t take much to rock the world of a child or adult struggling in this crazy world of ours. They like to have all their DUCKS IN A ROW…literally. As a matter of fact, my little love had ducks in different colors and if one…JUST ONE…was missing (he knew every color that should be in his LITTLE ROW,) watch out! Your heart would actually start pounding if you saw one was missing, and of course the meltdowns to follow if it wasn’t found fast enough were brain crushing. OK…this is what I mean. They also like their day to fit into their plans. When too many changes (sometimes it only takes one) enter the organized world in which they live it can cause other issues to develop or COMPOUND current ones. One of his biggies is needing affirmation for everything he says…EVERYTHING! This can go on for hours and hours and hours and hours. Then if you say this he will say that. If you say that he will say this. I usually just give him the STINK EYE…works on occasion.

Here’s the thing…winter break rocks his world. Extra snow days rocks his world even further. Add that to any sort of emotional upheaval and you have one hell of a cocktail! Trouble starts rearing its ugly head at school as well as at home. One day his mom asked him, “what is wrong?” He answered, “I don’t have the words!” If ever there was an OMG! moment this was it. I will never forget him saying, “I don’t have the words.”

Now to the issue at hand. Because of issues at school a game plan is in the works. One of them being Skittles as a positive reinforcer…YUP!…worked famously during ABA. The other is to read a story to the class pertaining to autism…which by the way was written by someone at the school.

They are hoping to help educate the class…explain certain behaviors…like outbursts, throwing, and so forth. Because all children are different, there are kids in his 1st grade class that watch out for him and try to help him, without truly understanding…some kids are just nurturers. Then there are the ones who egg him on knowing he will say BAD WORDS and then watch him get into trouble. Thank goodness the school understands and that is why the book came into play.

Herein lies the quandary…how do we explain to this little guy that he has autism? Will he understand? If he doesn’t, I will be haunted by his words when asked to explain: “I don’t have the words.” “I DON’T HAVE THE WORDS,” shows he tries so very hard. He just wants to be like everyone else…no more…no less. He just wants to play yet doesn’t understand how to socialize. He doesn’t get nuances. He doesn’t read all the cues. But I am going to have a bragging moment so bear with me: he has come quite far when it comes to reading expressions…like happy, sad, angry, playful…truly awesome. He even knows how to SCAM YA!

Anyway, this is going to be a very powerful moment. Will the kids get it? Will he get it? Good God sometimes even we don’t get it. His mommy figures the best thing is to be there when the book is read and answer any questions. Do we tell them it is about Drake? Is it read as just a learning tool about differences amongst people? This is just one of those moments you knew would arise and now that it is here you pray you handle it right. If we stumble it will be a learning experience for all of us.