What’s the Matter Sweetie?…”I Don’t Have the words”

I would like to preface this new entry with a bit of history. One of the main issues for people dealing with autism is continuity. It doesn’t take much to rock the world of a child or adult struggling in this crazy world of ours. They like to have all their DUCKS IN A ROW…literally. As a matter of fact, my little love had ducks in different colors and if one…JUST ONE…was missing (he knew every color that should be in his LITTLE ROW,) watch out! Your heart would actually start pounding if you saw one was missing, and of course the meltdowns to follow if it wasn’t found fast enough were brain crushing. OK…this is what I mean. They also like their day to fit into their plans. When too many changes (sometimes it only takes one) enter the organized world in which they live it can cause other issues to develop or COMPOUND current ones. One of his biggies is needing affirmation for everything he says…EVERYTHING! This can go on for hours and hours and hours and hours. Then if you say this he will say that. If you say that he will say this. I usually just give him the STINK EYE…works on occasion.

Here’s the thing…winter break rocks his world. Extra snow days rocks his world even further. Add that to any sort of emotional upheaval and you have one hell of a cocktail! Trouble starts rearing its ugly head at school as well as at home. One day his mom asked him, “what is wrong?” He answered, “I don’t have the words!” If ever there was an OMG! moment this was it. I will never forget him saying, “I don’t have the words.”

Now to the issue at hand. Because of issues at school a game plan is in the works. One of them being Skittles as a positive reinforcer…YUP!…worked famously during ABA. The other is to read a story to the class pertaining to autism…which by the way was written by someone at the school.

They are hoping to help educate the class…explain certain behaviors…like outbursts, throwing, and so forth. Because all children are different, there are kids in his 1st grade class that watch out for him and try to help him, without truly understanding…some kids are just nurturers. Then there are the ones who egg him on knowing he will say BAD WORDS and then watch him get into trouble. Thank goodness the school understands and that is why the book came into play.

Herein lies the quandary…how do we explain to this little guy that he has autism? Will he understand? If he doesn’t, I will be haunted by his words when asked to explain: “I don’t have the words.” “I DON’T HAVE THE WORDS,” shows he tries so very hard. He just wants to be like everyone else…no more…no less. He just wants to play yet doesn’t understand how to socialize. He doesn’t get nuances. He doesn’t read all the cues. But I am going to have a bragging moment so bear with me: he has come quite far when it comes to reading expressions…like happy, sad, angry, playful…truly awesome. He even knows how to SCAM YA!

Anyway, this is going to be a very powerful moment. Will the kids get it? Will he get it? Good God sometimes even we don’t get it. His mommy figures the best thing is to be there when the book is read and answer any questions. Do we tell them it is about Drake? Is it read as just a learning tool about differences amongst people? This is just one of those moments you knew would arise and now that it is here you pray you handle it right. If we stumble it will be a learning experience for all of us.